This may sound cliche but you can’t control how people act. All you can control is how you react.
In a tech company environment, unpleasant colleagues or managers are inevitable. Some have an over-inflated ego, some are highly disorganized, some are terrified newbies, others may be power trippers. Of course, you are free to report misconduct to human resources, but oftentimes your fear of losing your job gets the best of you. Letting things be isn’t being weak, sometimes it’s just how adulthood works.
Have enough self-respect to be not treated like a doormat without overreacting.
Is your boss naive, or egotistic, or distrusting, an opportunist, or all of the above? Here’s how to react without compromising both your mental health and your career.
Confide to a Trusted Person
Sometimes our own judgement may be biased. Maybe tasks being assigned to you feel like orders but it actually isn’t. Perhaps you do not approve of authority. Confiding your situation to a trusted friend, loved one, or mentor may help you see your situation in a more rational way. It helps to see the point of view of others regarding the circumstance and not entrapped on your own prejudice. On a side note, make sure you only open up to people who are logical and are not typically in competition with other people’s misfortunes or problems.
Talk to Human Resources
It may be that your situation doesn’t need to be evaluated. For example, your boss is sexually harassing you or sending inappropriate signals. Of course, this needs an intervention by the human resources department or perhaps a lawyer if it becomes extreme like terminating you for not agreeing to your boss’s improper requests. Additionally, your boss may be angry at you for personal reasons or making up stories about you due to inferiority. These type of behaviors are unprofessional and can ruin someone else’s career, which is why you need to report it to the right people right away. If, for example, you cannot tolerate your manager’s behavior, then you may consider moving to another company to have a peace of mind.
Confront Your Boss
Now you don’t have to raise your voice or talk behind your manager. There are some things that can be fixed with proper communication. It may be that your boss is unaware of the effects of his behavior to others such as taking credit for work that is not theirs. Confront your boss but do it in a way where your main goal is maintaining peace in the workplace and building a good relationship with coworkers including your boss. If you think your manager is disorganized and panicky, let them know about it because maybe they have just a lot on their plate. You also have to understand how challenging it is to lead people and their behavior may not be intentional.
Bosses are not always evil and conniving like they are portrayed in television. Managers and team leaders are humans too. If their behavior, however, interferes with your work, your mental health, or your personal life, then there is nothing wrong with finding another organization where you can truly be happy and grow.
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